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“drake, there’s a song calling you a gay, deadbeat, pedophile running a sex trafficking ring with 500 million streams on spotify” “it does NOT have 500 million streams”
i’d give up everything that came to because of my traumas, just to not have had it happen to me.
In the third grade whenever we had to “tattle” my teacher sent us over to a picture of Obama taped at kid eye level on the wall and we would tell the president our problems
best part of being a girl is being in nauseating, crippling pain but it doesn’t matter bc it’s just your uterus
It's so wild that there are people who can identify cars by sight. Like instead of “brown truck” or “grey sedan” everywhere they go they’re all “that Mazda Myopia is turning left beside the 2017 Chevy Stigmata”. It must be like seeing those colors only shrimp can see.
i take the responsibility of being in someone’s close friends very seriously. idc if u not spilling tea… im not telling a single soul you had that grilled cheese for lunch. FBI couldn’t waterboard it out of me
Me saying "but hey, things happen" after telling the most traumatic event of my life
when my phone corrects correctly spelled words to my most common fucks ups like… 😳🤭🫣 he rlly knows me
had to explain to my boss today that i was fine, im just crying because we are out of everything bagels and they are my favorite.
imagine you piss me off then i block your number and filter unknown senders.
i like college, i do. BUT 4 hour long classes and there’s stairs everywhere???
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