Love when a book has a middle section that’s just like 15 pages of pictures. Hell yeah, give my brain a break. Time to look at some black and white photos
geometry test: is this a triangle? me: yes geometry test: how do u know? me: what? geometry: PROVE its a triangle me: bro fucking look at it
next pandemic is it okay if we do science right off the bat
"we were in a fridge!" - if ross and rachel were pickles
It took a worldwide protest to find this one man guilty of the obvious.
I just keep thinking about how it took ALL of this to have one trial for one cop
every time I turn on my car it automatically connects to my phone to blast the only song I have downloaded and folks...that song is monster mash
Me: make it a double Bartender: *pouring a second Swiss Miss packet into my cup of hot water* long day?
you can write for a hundred years and still not come up with a sentence as dystopian as “the vaccine is patented”
Being vaccinated does NOT mean you can fall in love with a man over email who turns out to be the one putting your small bookstore out of business
Hmm I want this zit to go away maybe I should turn it into an open wound
Born too late to be Vine famous born too early to be TikTok famous, born just in time to graduate into a pandemic and not qualify for a stimulus check
Phil Collins created that Tarzan soundtrack with the passion of someone whose parents were personally killed by a leopard
barbie only had all those careers to pay off that damn dream house 🙄
trying to act casual so the printer doesn't realize this is time sensitive
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