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Just ate 5 hard boiled eggs and could probably lift the fuckin mountain outside with ease
Decided I was man enough to handle a cold brew just this once, and now my heart rate could probably charge an electric vehicle
My last meal on death row would be a Marlboro red with the windows up
Inverted filter just hulk smashed my confidence into the pavement
3 guys bought me a drink this weekend, how many of you can say that
Crack open that Diet Coke and let all your problems fade away
Mmmmm smoking weed and having a crisis everytime is so yummy 😋
What I would give to be in the deepest darkest European club and hear Stereo Love
Me every Friday night
Having a mustache is so fuckin cool, sucks to be all y’all that don’t have one
Brussel sprouts are such an elite and dominant vegetable, if they could steal your girl they totally would
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