Deschanel Fynn
@drDeschanelBest jump shot in the NHL
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@reidk_97
@PaddyMac98
Friends with benefits is a shitty term. I prefer super smash bros
I still don’t know what #tigerking is about. There’s been like 9 different plots in the last 5 minutes
Me at the bar when I didn’t pre enough
one time i was my college’s mascot for a basketball game. emphasis on one time
This video should be playing on every screen on the planet.
Everyone who did NSSSA in high school is gay now
Pretty sure I've seen this happen at toothy moose
casual sex implies the existence of ranked competitive sex
Therapist: Why are you so agitated? Me: He’s a time traveler. Shouldn’t he be called doctor when?
Dentist: Don’t swallow that, it’s poisonous. Me: Then why did you put it in my mouth?
A bag of munchies is considered finished when there’s only pretzels left and that’s a fact
Little secret about me: my answer to the question “would you like a receipt” is based on absolutely nothing and changes all the time
Okay. Movie pitch. A remake of Guardians of the Galaxy where all groot can say is Gangnam style
If you're paying me back, I don't ever wanna see nickels or dimes. Quarters and up or you're getting uppercut
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