Matthew Daye
@dayemoneyEverybody needs money. That’s why they call it money.
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@MorphisTweets
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#AmyConeyBarrett was asked to explain what it means to be a textualist. She said it means to accept the meaning of the plain text. When asked for an example she replied: “Senator Durbin... your first name is Dick... correct? I rest my case.” #ACB
I just got a brand new #AppleWatch and already I think I’ve been #hacked. Every hour it keeps reminding me to sit down and stop breathing. @Apple #Apple #wearables @Mouseonradar
#ChelseaClinton emphatically states person with beard and penis can identify as a woman. Asked how she could be so sure she explained: “I asked Dad. He said put her in a #bluedress and he’d fuck her. Case closed.” Haha... just another reason to look for a #Trump2020Landslide
William S Burroughs reporting for the London Exaggerator has uncovered the “Steely Dan” Dossier alleging Trump ate lunch naked and nicknamed his dick “whistle” at a #Ukraine hotel. If #stormydaniels is the real #whistleblower can #Trump be impeached like #Clinton? #MondayMorning
#BernieSanders has sunk so far in the polls it appears he’s had to resort to a publicity #stent to try and boost his ratings. When questioned, a Sanders spokes-intern insisted this wasn’t just some stent... this was serious... serious as a heart attack. Feel the #BernOut
#JeffreyEpstein is dead while on suicide watch. So does suicide watch mean watch this guy commit suicide? Or does it mean this guy is getting to be more trouble than he’s worth. When no one is looking murder him. Just askin’ #JeffreyEpsteinDead
This just in: Antony Perkins, reporter for the Washington Exaggerator, has confirmed - Bruce Ohr and Nellie Ohr are the same person! A press conference is scheduled for tomorrow at the Bates Motel. #FBI #DOJ #SteeleDossier #RussiaHoax
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