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i love taking hot showers... i be in there turning around like rotisserie chicken 😭
I love that cats slap the shit out of everything they cant understand.
they should make a melatonin caprisun. thirst quenched, lights out
The wax lady put numbing cream on my coochie and I was like “don’t you kinda wish you could put that stuff on ur whole body and be completely numb” and she said “what?” :(
nothing a little buttered toast won’t fix
life is soup, i am spork. kinda got it, kinda don’t
people who suggest getting breakfast together as a hangout plan are people that you need to hang onto in life.
What is today? The 4th? The 5th? The minor fall? The major lift? idek
"ur going places" yea bro im going to a therapist i cant take it anymore
I’m checking temperatures today at work & this lady walks in, I check her temp she says loudly “YOU SAID MY TEMPERATURE 100 & WHAT? let me go home” y’all she really left😭😂 it was only 96😭😭😭😭😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
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