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In my continued quest to claim my rightful place on the cast of The Real Housewives of NYC, I have taken the liberty of photoshopping myself into the show’s promotional material. @BravoTV, I’ll be watching the mail for my contract.
Thinking about how I performed Tik Tok by Kesha in fishnets and a blue wig at my sixth grade talent show all the while maintaining that I liked women
this is like if trump posted a picture of Biden hugging Barron
this is on lana del rey’s moodboard
Like many amateur photographers, I do occasionally experiment with editing. I wanted to express my apologies for any confusion the photograph I shared yesterday caused.
What I feel like when I force the pregnant Director of Internal Communications to sing “Wide Open Spaces” with me (three sheets to the wind) at the corporate karaoke event
“you better not be abby lee miller chewing on a christmas tree when i get there” me:
i am so sorry but
As president, I have no higher priority than the safety of Americans at home and around the world. @VP and I spoke with our national security teams to discuss ongoing steps to protect the homeland, including Jewish, Arab, and Muslim communities, following the attacks in Israel.
Dorinda immediately after taking the first sip of her third dirty martini:
what if your dad DIED and you were PREGNANT and your husband was GAY and then you FELL DOWN
kim richards looked so cvnt when she got arrested for shoplifting at target
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