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My 4-y/o daughter tried to jam me up today. Kid: Mommy, why is your bra in daddy's car? Me: What!? The Mrs hit me wit a killer side eye. She ain't been in my car in weeks Me: Ain't no bra in my car!! Kid: Ya huh, cup thingie with straps *we all go to garage & look in car*
Yo I just woke up with thee worse cotton mouth and it’s not like I’m home and I can just walk into the kitchen at two am. & now I’m wide awake bc my mouth is so dry i want death
am i famous? no. will i wear sunglasses & a hoodie to target @ 9 pm to avoid being recognized by locals? absofuckinglutely.
So u telling me all i gotta do is change the color of my socks and i got a whole new pair of shoes 🤔😧
Haven’t been this excited about a new Nike silhouette since vapormax. Nike React Element 87
When she said “are you sure”.. I FELT THAT
i thought i was just making his plate 💘
who’s trying to catch these hands? ᵃⁿᵈ ʰᵒˡᵈ ᵗʰᵉᵐ
gained qUITE a few followers today so i thought i’d show y’all how pretty i am idk
this tweet is blowing up so i think it’s time i get some credit for what ivE DONE LMFAO THIS IS MY VINE LOL!!! I AM THE TWO MOMS AT BRUNCH VINER. SKDKSKXKS
why is my dad the sweetest most supportive person ever im crying :’)
if you from NY i automatically love you, y’all so funny 😩😩😩🤧🤧🤧🤧
I’m crying so hard rn bc I found old pictures w my ex
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