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@chazstrife
Boss: If you fall asleep again today, I'll fire you Me: ok Boss: Now go and do the sheep inventory Me: oh no
I’m Max’s dog sitter and max was very happy to see me today🤗
5 love languages: 1. Acts of Service:Would you like me to pick up some Chick-fil-A 2. Quality time:Would you like to go to Chick-fil-A with me 3. Words of affirmation:Thank you for this Chick-fil-A 4. Gifts:I got you Chick-fil-a 5. Physical touch:The Lords chicken on your lips.
[fancy restaurant] me: isn’t this dim lighting so romantic? moth date: [shrugs]
moths only want one thing and its disgusting
She believed she could but fell asleep and didn’t
In this world you either crank that soulja boy or it cranks you
SON ALL OF THAT AND NOT ONE BIT OF SEASONING. WILD
all i wanna do is *gunshot* *gunshot* *gunshot* *cash register noise* mean something to someone
“I’m not here to make friends” ...audibly escaped my mouth upon entering Whole Foods tonight.
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