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HIGH AS SHIT READING THE DICTIONARY KANT WAIT FOR OUR NEXT ARGUMENT BITCH.
19 years of raising a kid pays off when you need that designated driver. Keep Pounding beers.
so much of adulthood is just dishes. washing dishes. drying dishes. putting away the clean dishes thinking about the dish in your sink you need to wash. deciding not to cook something because it's gonna dirty too many dishes. looking for a new apartment with an in-unit dishwasher
so much of adulthood is just grieving in secret. grieving ex lovers, grieving dead friendships, grieving your parents sinking into old age, grieving the person you thought you'd grow into. grieving cities you never got to live in. grieving parts of you that couldn't survive.
you befriend a guy and a few days later he’s like “i wanna talk to you about something” please god let it be about the economy
hmm.. better lock in tomorrow and fix everything and do everything
I put my daughter to bed an hour ago and she's just come down and asked me if cats have shoulders
upholding our core values and ensuring increasing revenue for our key shareholders
Think Trump’s tariffs won’t affect you? Expect price hikes on: •Iced tea imported from England •Lifeguards imported from Spain •Towels imported from Turkey •And turkey imported from Maine
Black people what’s our next move? We looking bad as a unit right now we need a play.
i have so many pics in the vault but this one is up there 🐚
HAVING AN EMPTY LAUNDRY BASKET IS THE BEST FIVE SECONDS OF THE WEEK.
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