TimLyons
@TimLyonsFollow me on Facebook, I tweet a lot of funny videos. Listen to Improv is Dead!
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Extremely grateful for all the bits I got to do as Alan on #TheBigLeap this season! Loved every second of playing this (lovable?) lil weirdo.
All my cousins banging on the bathroom door 40 minutes after dinner, shit filling up their pants. My legs are asleep, my ass cheeks are red and I'm 30 minutes into a perfect Balatro run on my phone. I can't stop now. I won't stop now.
This one’s for all the spooky girlies this spooky season based on the spooky witches getting down in the 2015 spooky movie The Witch.
Sucks that I can wake up from a beautiful, tragic, life changing dream knowing that it’s meaningless and only happened because I ate red sauce the night before.
Wouldn’t let this pervert sleep anywhere near my dog.
Travel hack: Rather than pay full price for a hotel room, I book a night at a “dog hotel” intended for short-term boarding (40-50% price of human hotels). Then when I show up I pretend to be confused/angry. After enough pleading they usually let me sleep in one of the kennels.
The music video for my new song "anything you want" is out today! directed by @conortheconor, DP by daniel clark & edited by anthony tocchio feat. @kstud @joekjoek @joemcadam @2tonbug @eyyitslisa & more :)
Chicago! Doing 2 live shows on Thursday! 7:30pm | @iochicago 10pm | Logan Square Improv Tix: linktr.ee/improvisdead
Hey CHICAGO! We're doing some unplugged and perved out live shows Oct. 3rd @iochicago at 7:30 pm and then at 10 pm Logan Square Improv! Grab a tickets for either show here linktr.ee/improvisdead
I love this show! Can’t wait for everyone to see it in November 🚑
The best hospital in-network. 🩺 NBC’s #StDenisMedical premieres November 12, and streaming on @peacock
I spent $96 on Hinge roses last week and sent them all within 5 min. So far haven’t heard back from anyone but I know this is what it takes. As soon as I get paid this week, I’m excited up the ante to $200 and put myself out there once again! I’m destined to be deleted!!!
Normalize partying at Downtown Disney with your boys.
THE MOSHUMENTARY IS OUT NOW. LINK IN BIO IF UR NOT A WIMP ASS POSER
Burping while eating is releasing gas bubbles to feel less full. Farting while eating is you are at max capacity you absolute slob! Slow down or save the rest for later.
Chicago! I'm doing some comedy @iochicago on June 7th at 6 pm and June 9th at 8pm! Come see some finely tuned bits and skits! Grab a ticket for either show here: linktr.ee/thirsttraptim
POV: ur skipping through this guys story and realize his gf hates him
I just watched 75 movies in 5 minutes.
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