Jacob Morningside @The_XMas_Fart Twitter Profile | Xstalk

Jacob Morningside

@The_XMas_Fart

Scrub up and put your finger up my psyche...pique my interest, hose me down or bail me out. https://t.co/FTPTpDTH2O

Joined August 2012

80KPosts 2KFollowers 2KFollowing

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Pinned

Jacob Morningside

7 May

I’ve never worn a shirt that didn’t highlight the ingredients of my sandwich.

Jacob Morningside Reposted

Natalie Would

27 Nov

Just walked by an empath and his head exploded

Jacob Morningside Reposted

Hoodlum 🇺🇸

29 Nov

“But the eggs were just so expensive.”

Tweet Image 1

Jacob Morningside Reposted

darkwise

28 Nov

In case of emergency, pull my finger.

Jacob Morningside Reposted

Eryn

27 Nov

I just spent 5 minutes looking for the can opener..

Tweet Image 1

Jacob Morningside Reposted

Turgid Verse

28 Nov

Whiskey has never been recalled for e..coli. Fuck off, lettuce.

Jacob Morningside Reposted

pamplemousse

28 Nov

as much as i'm fond of the holy herb my favourite high has a human form

Jacob Morningside Reposted

pamplemousse

29 Nov

with my whole heart or not at all

Jacob Morningside

27 Nov

Hell Yeah, I forgive you and…who the marbles are you?

Jacob Morningside

27 Nov

Geez, I hope the calluses on your keyboard fingers haven’t been softened like “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter” by all the Thoughts and Prayers.

Jacob Morningside

27 Nov

I hear a lot of people have left-left in favor of the wrong right.

Jacob Morningside

27 Nov

I don’t work the crowd…I let them work WITH me.

Jacob Morningside Reposted

Böb Jänke: Hönkÿ

26 Nov

I'm just being really honest right now. I don't even know what blue tooth does

Jacob Morningside Reposted

Kaptan Hindustan™

@KaptanHindustan

27 Nov

The Last Latte

Tweet Image 1

Jacob Morningside Reposted

Ashley Bong

27 Nov

“My friends and family think your ancestors are the ones who spread illness and disease to the natives” and other things I bring to a 7am conversation

Jacob Morningside Reposted

kerin cook

@kerindoesntcook

27 Nov

Good morning Twitter! Your laugh of the day

Tweet Image 1

Jacob Morningside Reposted

Gringo Starr

27 Nov

Well at least we don’t have to worry about landing. 👊🏽😆

Jacob Morningside Reposted

27 Nov

I wrote one paragraph a few days ago. It’s quite beautiful. Writing has quite an impact on my soul.

Jacob Morningside Reposted

Reta Coffman

26 Nov

Went to Candy’s and she showed me a gadget to recork a wine bottle. Honestly, I don’t see the point.

Jacob Morningside Reposted

ANAÏS NINJA

26 Nov

“SLUT ERA,” I whisper as I tuck my sweats into my uggs.

Jacob Morningside Reposted

Trade School Secrets - WIOA Whisperer

27 Nov

Saw this and had to share. Who agrees?

Tweet Image 1

Hey, give me a try. Mainly old jokes (spruced up a bit) and sentimental musings. Big believer in kindness. Leaning left, but not very woke (Boomer, ya know).

Bob Golen

@BobGolen

Chicago

past performance is no guarantee of future results

I write this for fun https://t.co/heH4IlIEWZ

I know who DB Cooper is.

Böb Jänke: Hönkÿ

@Bob_Janke

https://t.co/gtvbRCGZLc ☕️

Natalie Would

@_NatalieWould

LaLaLyds

@LaLa_Lyds

omnipresent in absentia, perchance frittering my time away on X.

.•| sui juris |•.

Cat From Nowhere

@kv8

Anatomically correct. For the most part.

Grant Tanaka: Honky

@GrantTanaka

My thoughts were full of other things when I wandered off the path.
Dante Alighieri, Inferno

The B.

@anerdonfire2

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Benny 'Last Man' Rollins

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inspector ratchet

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Jason, ex inferis

@benedictsred

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TunaOfTheSky

@tunaofthesky

Tony P.

@Tbone7219

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Buddawiggi🟢

@MarkBuckawicki

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Marly

@VerbsRProudest

English accent - please adjust your inner dialogue.
Atheist, but fine by me if you believe in fairytales. Peace ✌
https://t.co/kWKnRGy10o

Barry BeNiceButNotSicklyNice

@barryjohnharper

screaming on the inside https://t.co/HSCN5yjp13

Stu, For Real

@StuForReal

I’d rather be working on my yard. #envydastrength I retweet regular people. My tweets are here: https://t.co/zOIJ18SHBV

Boyd's Backyard™

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Making my little jokes to distract myself from the terror of the walls closing in.

Bone Chocolates

@BoneChocolates

drinking slurpees in front of 7-eleven with @The_Getawaygirl My thoughts in a box. my tweets 🤦‍♀️ https://t.co/0g8VMFzt2k

Ivsy

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astr0z0mbreez

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Kelly

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“You learn more from failure than from success. Don’t let it stop you. Failure builds character.”

#Traveling #Reading
#Sports #Exploring
#Independent

Rth

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Argos Mall allows you to do global business with minimal capital!

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@Dawlucr0cgZ

Toughsh

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Tioshor

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McWease

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Coffee-fueled optimist | Fueling minds & hearts with inspiration. Let's lift each other up! #coffee #inspiration"

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Vanessa Emily

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You shouldn’t like me, broken things are better left alone. https://t.co/4CbwNG1cUb

Seann

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Niosalo

@Niosalooqv5KXT

what’s gonna be will surely be

Paulawhiteloc

@Paulawhiteloc3

Neeshoez

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Lauren

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hamdanrrbon

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Band Name Consultant.

Elic Bramlett

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well my name is buba and I am looking for a support and I am from poor family and to have food is very different for me 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

musa Camara

@musa73892

Mamadou Corr

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Joy Sarah

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official account of Stephen Colbert

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The Original Kendal

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lyrically speaking

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Chef Bruce 🇺🇸🌊

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Deep down, under the layers of hate and sarcasm, we both know that I’m a goddamned DELIGHT! I’m like wine - after 50+ years, I’m basically vinegar.

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Thairski

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The whole secret of a successful life is to find out what is one’s destiny to do, and then do it.

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Aspiring nap enthusiast. Professional snack critic. Full-time overthinker. Trying to adult but probably failing.

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I'm a business woman/Investor,
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Bella Bvsmy

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Happiness is working hard for the people and things you love every day.

Miranda

@banafakediolrms

already following you.
https://t.co/pfWyHFzMDW
https://t.co/gBeb3NTZsd

Brad Gearon

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Actor, Comedian, Poet, Artist, a totally unexpected 5th thing 🃏🤦🏼‍♂️🤷🏼‍♂️

dan poets society 🏴‍☠️

@danielsayswhat

I'm also https://t.co/7qNrquAF22

Carole Unter

@scarycookies

ShirlFunke

@FunkeShirl78569

I have to tweet about the book I read, so...
enjamb at the site up above

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@dantenenbaum

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J.C. Bratcher👑🔥🇺🇸

@BratcherC83001

~Let's put a smile on that face!~

Cannaseur and wine sommelier

Madame Jokr 🍃💨

@Lady_Jokr710

I'm not pretty enough to be this big of a dick but here we are

Man of Letters

@manofletterz

let love lead 💕💕💕💕💕💕

Jennifer

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Hey, give me a try. Mainly old jokes (spruced up a bit) and sentimental musings. Big believer in kindness. Leaning left, but not very woke (Boomer, ya know).

Bob Golen

@BobGolen

Chicago

past performance is no guarantee of future results

I write this for fun https://t.co/heH4IlIEWZ

I know who DB Cooper is.

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https://t.co/gtvbRCGZLc ☕️

Natalie Would

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LaLaLyds

@LaLa_Lyds

omnipresent in absentia, perchance frittering my time away on X.

.•| sui juris |•.

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@kv8

Anatomically correct. For the most part.

Grant Tanaka: Honky

@GrantTanaka

My thoughts were full of other things when I wandered off the path.
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The B.

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Australian Jim Morrison | Real person | Dave's mate | 1053

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Benny 'Last Man' Rollins

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Public menace. Bog Witch. Level 58 Trainwreck. Costco Gold Star Member.

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🆓 parody https://t.co/gfUv8vqNnb

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Mom, Wife, Scribbler - Tweets https://t.co/fmOqFyUryK OR exc replies https://t.co/oKTHFtbaqK header by talented friend @bucmarvin

Marly

@VerbsRProudest

English accent - please adjust your inner dialogue.
Atheist, but fine by me if you believe in fairytales. Peace ✌
https://t.co/kWKnRGy10o

Barry BeNiceButNotSicklyNice

@barryjohnharper

screaming on the inside https://t.co/HSCN5yjp13

Stu, For Real

@StuForReal

I’d rather be working on my yard. #envydastrength I retweet regular people. My tweets are here: https://t.co/zOIJ18SHBV

Boyd's Backyard™

@TheBoydP

Making my little jokes to distract myself from the terror of the walls closing in.

Bone Chocolates

@BoneChocolates

drinking slurpees in front of 7-eleven with @The_Getawaygirl My thoughts in a box. my tweets 🤦‍♀️ https://t.co/0g8VMFzt2k

Ivsy

@Ivsy01

🌶💋Live & Let Blurb -https://t.co/XnufGOM3Op

astr0z0mbreez

@astr0z0mbreez

SpacesHo(st) trying to find common ground. Dubbed a “liberal pundit” by Alter Net. Smack Talker. The country is doomed if we don't communicate.

Art Candee 🍿🥤

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Discombobulated.

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Rookie on X with a knack for turning online trade schools into million-dollar successes. I know, boring topic. I have a PhD (Public High School Diploma).

Trade School Secrets - WIOA Whisperer

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MeeMaw

My son says I'm a parody

TheRealThelmaJohnson

@TheRealThelmaJ1

Erudite Stoner. GenX. Socialist. INTP. Sagittarius sun/Scorpio moon/Pisces rising. Tweets while high.

The Passenger

@LvstForLyfe

she/her • live nude cartoon • avi by @kbuddyartist • banner by @drawingbutts • tweets: https://t.co/oFxUkyzSNF

Boobsy Snickerdoodle

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Danny

@brodyfontane

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dan poets society 🏴‍☠️

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💯ℂ𝕣𝕒𝕫𝕪𝔸𝔽👑🍑𝔹𝕦𝕥ℂ𝕦𝕥𝕖💯

@Crazy_ButCute2

https://t.co/1DwPnDQCHq
https://t.co/83SAsSxWUM #redeye
https://t.co/dBEgewJ59g https://t.co/c6CpJLgVl0 #Amishian Places of Inter

Tim Munn (H) (Amishia)

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Eclectic creature of the night, loves cooking, horror & spending time with those I love. Enjoying life and making the best of it. #FFBMovieNight #WerewolfChef

Papa Woof und Krampus und Bleaken

@woofknight

Not a pyramid scheme. (Probably)
DM me if you have a death ray.
I practice unethical monogamy.
I'm not going to join your stupid cult.

You gonna eat that? 🏴‍☠️🌈🍩

@kb0oty

Villainous. Hula hoop champion. Jaw breaker. Trophy wife. Whisky. Pill popper. FAFO. Flirty. Rude motherfucker. 🚫DM 🔞 𝕏-rated. Pronouns: try/me #FuckCancer

LorazeKim™ 𝕏 🏴‍☠️🇺🇸🇮🇹🚩

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https://t.co/FVp37eCZIl

Keep Calm and Lauren On

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The glass is half-full AND half-empty. I can be in 2 places at the same time. This rabbit hole never ends

Mike Mentalpause

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🐕🐇🐈‍⬛🐈🐐🐐🦆🦆🦆🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓

to the smoldering coals

Ashley 🦂

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I'm also https://t.co/7qNrquAF22

Carole Unter

@scarycookies

Love to read and write. Dad. Husband.

My stuff:https://t.co/Rd6dxY4gvh

Daniel Cummings - losted

@DanielC55186873

I'm not pretty enough to be this big of a dick but here we are

Man of Letters

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Dumb jokes, dumber thoughts and weird shit. I've been on Antifa's payroll since 2016.

1.21 Rickawatts

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Traded the body armor for a suit and tie, but still working for the man.

JulietRomeoPapa

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The martyrs of Gaza are not just numbers; each martyr has a story and will be documented here. to support ⬇️

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@GazaMartyrs

Welcome to the Independent Author Network. Promoting and Supporting Indie Authors Since 2010.

The 11th Annual Book of the Year Awards is now open. #IAN1

#IAN1 Author Promotion

@IAN_AuthorPromo

O'B

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• goth daria vibes • fear does not exist in this bio • muppet enthusiast • reba/dolly 2024 • subscribe •

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I like to beat on stuff with sticks. NOT two possums and two raccoons in a hoodie. Reply guy who posts way too much music and animal videos. Trash Daddy

🦝Jamantha “Trash Daddy” Jones🦝

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Mouldering lump of organic matter trapped in a bizarre social and technological matrix

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I am Pavlov's Hashtag dog.

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Happily married and older than dirt.

CanadianLitChick🇨🇦

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No regrets, thats my motto. That and everybody Wang Chung tonight.

Ashley Bong

@ashleybong_

I have the same handle everywhere. Subscribe to my FREE newsletter: https://t.co/QZeOoeMMdg

Mueller, She Wrote

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“She was a goddess of torment and understood the eloquence of violence”

I Don’t Know Her

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Don’t let the glasses and suit fool you, I’m a sex machine. Debbie Gibson is my true love

Herb The HR Guy

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erm... I'll think of something .

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Make me a cuppa

@chrlexoxo

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Jason Not Evil

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Nishav Govind

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Books, snacks, horror movies, dark humor, cheese, & insanity covered cat by fur. Navy Veteran. She/her #BlackLivesMatter #Pride

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I think I speak for everyone here when I say I shouldn't be allowed to speak for anyone here.

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An industry-leading, vertically integrated cannabis company & multi-state operator in the U.S. Publicly traded: US OTC: $TCNNF CA CSE: $TRUL.CN
Must be 21+

Trulieve

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Nolite te bastardes carborundorum😉🇨🇦 Good trouble. Voted worlds best sister 35x’s in a row. Ppl can b awesome&animals always are. ❤️#FreeKshamenk

Sarah Bee🐝

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I drink scotch, read poetry, and know things | ENTP | Prior military | Virgo in love | Poetic math geek | Shameless flirt | straight white guy with no podcast

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The leading AI-powered medical information platform.

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OpenEvidence

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Improper Traci

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don't blame me, I voted for the email lady

Jeff Tiedrich

@itsJeffTiedrich

WSJ caption 🏆 | Space | Clean Energy | US-China | USC | Legacy Blue Check. Bad tweets written by my intern. #ENDALZ #NASASocial 🌊

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