@PaperWash Profile picture

paperwash©

@PaperWash

https://t.co/Im90eMUfPb

Joined August 2011
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co-authored my first novella with my good friend Jerry; Rose's Addiction my niece Annabell did the art work, THANK YOU ANNABELL! paperback should be available later today or tomorrow amazon.com/dp/B0CCK1GH4H/…


I'm calling the cops

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If you show up to someone's Thanksgiving dinner and they serve cranberry sauce, just leave, you don't need that kind of negativity in your life


paperwash© Reposted

*quietly tries to open a bag of chips during a blow job*


finally, a tea I can enjoy with homies

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can't wait for thanksgiving morning so I can see The Rock post on IG how he's in the gym getting a workout in before the big meal


paperwash© Reposted

twitter is not addicting, your life just sucks



paperwash© Reposted

Me: Where did I leave my keys. Any ideas brain? Brain: Sit, Ubu, sit. Good dog Me: That’s not helpful Brain: up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, b, a, start Me: I hate you.


science has gone too far

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my love for pickle ball isn't about the sport, it's about destroying senior citizens competitively


paperwash© Reposted

Trying to write erotica but I'm almost in my mid-50s so everything is like, "It felt good, like putting on a brand new pair of socks for the first time."


paperwash© Reposted

Doing the same thing over & over and expecting different results is called perseverance


paperwash© Reposted

(british guy unhooking your bra) all right, what’s all this then


you don't have to go to Thanksgiving dinner, you can just stay at home, smoke weed and jerk off, the choice is yours


twitter is not addicting, your life just sucks


I've had ENOUGH

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greatest character arc of all time Sheldon intentionally decides to not hatch from his egg claiming he has everything he needs: a microwave oven, pinball machine, stove, table tennis table, and an air conditioner

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paperwash© Reposted

Hanging out with your friends is an echo chamber. You need to always invite one guy who sucks and everyone hates just to add some excitement


Cheers you heathens

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me: [pays a prostitute for an hour to sit at the edge of my bed so I can practice my stand up routine] her: if you want me to laugh that's an extra $100


paperwash© Reposted

I love people that get offended on Twitter. They sort of make it all worth it.


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