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Goin for a shit in a fit berds house an there being no bog role and wiping ur arse on a bottle ov wash an go. Wha? We've all done it...
Goin home in a taxi lookn out the window and thinking "ahh fuckn hell" and cringing as every horrible flashback floats through ur swede.
Wakn up in a strange house priority list 1 check eyebrows 2 where's me phone 3 Av I got any doe on me 4 where's me clobber 5 phone a delta
In the 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ' comic, Raphael punches Hitler in the face.
Let's be honest, no one in the 21st century cuddles after sex. It's back to Twitter before the loo has even flushed.
When your mates gives you a tip for the grand national and it does this at the start line http://t.co/pL22xqG1lO
Me when I've been off work for 2 weeks then realise I'm back in on Monday. Fuck sake. http://t.co/PV8kNCKne0
Lad outside the offy asked me to get him 10 Richmond... Bought him a packet of sausages. Little scamp.
One red said said he was made up he was signing, then showed me a video of him kecking someone in training... ... Boss him.
Reds were made up when Balotelli signed. Sayn they liked him coz he was off his head an he wern arsed. Boss him.
Eh. Ju reckon there should be a belta outdoor bats in Liverpool? Be the one in this weather that mate.
been to crocky park. Not ONE gang ov trackies shoutn at a pit in sight. Laughn. Fella wid the little tractor train takes the piss £2.50 a go
Eh, did Liverpool beat Blackburn last night? No one's mentioned nottn. No one sayn "going to Wembley" or nottn.
House full of Easter eggs. An am stood waiting to get served by the icey man. Even the icey man is looking at me like am a soft twat. Sake.
In Liverpool it's the law for all van drivers to store EVERY piece of paper they encounter on the dashboard like this http://t.co/pJtHaPejSO
Arouna Kone has played more games for Everton than Daniel Sturridge has played for Liverpool. #fact
In Liverpool if you see someone with a fork fringe you are legally required to punch them in the face then send them in a taxi to Rhyl.
The Ebola virus was originally the "bola" virus, later being renamed "Ebola" when scouse birds shouted "eeee, bola" at suffering victims.
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