@MaxwellSnark Profile picture

Maxwell Snark

@MaxwellSnark

I'll take your answer off the air.

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Maxwell Snark Reposted

I’m just now learning that Brits refer to Christmas as Crimbo and I’m thinking we should build the border wall on the Atlantic instead


Maxwell Snark Reposted

Today in 1972, Mike Brady arrives home from work and braces himself for the inevitable shitstorm that he’s about to walk into.

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Maxwell Snark Reposted

You’re not truly ready for battle until you’ve pulled an alcoholic in a sleigh across the Russian countryside like a goddamn Italian reindeer.

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Maxwell Snark Reposted

If they ever build a statue to honor “The Scrappy White Guy" it goddamn well better be this highly motivated clusterfuck right here.

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Maxwell Snark Reposted

“Swann’s out for the season.” “What happened?” “Frank parked his goddamn car in the end zone again.”


Maxwell Snark Reposted

What’s the over/under on how long Timmy lived after Lassie died? I give that dumb fuck a year tops without the dog around to save his ass.

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Maxwell Snark Reposted

Back in my day we didn't call it lunch until Lee Majors was bitch slapping George Harrison and Paul McCartney with a tree.

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Maxwell Snark Reposted

The North Stars annually led the NHL in telling other teams’ confused bus drivers “No, that wasn’t a middle school in a cow pasture, it’s our goddamn arena.”

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Maxwell Snark Reposted

“Where’s our goalie?” “Over there.” “I’m only seeing a fat 52-year-old guy with some kind of apparent cognitive deficit and the adorable innocence of a child.” “That’s our goalie.”

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Maxwell Snark Reposted

Nolan Ryan warming up in the Astrodome

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Maxwell Snark Reposted

Exactly what kind of feeble offensive line work occurred on this field goal attempt? Come on, Cleveland. For fuck’s sake.

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Maxwell Snark Reposted

I've always said you can't put a 5'9”white kid with terrible situational awareness on Michael Jordan. I’ve always said that.

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Maxwell Snark Reposted

The best cup of coffee is when you’re a parent on the weekend and you are the first one awake, the house is dark and quiet and it’s starting to rain. That is THE CUP OF COFFEE.


Maxwell Snark Reposted

Whatever you do, do NOT give the fucking ball to Charlie Brown.

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Maxwell Snark Reposted

Happy Fourth of July, or as dogs know it The Long Night of What The Hell Is Going On Guys Seriously Guys What The Hell Guys


Maxwell Snark Reposted

Apparently my neighbors bought $23,000 worth of fireworks.


Maxwell Snark Reposted

Kenny Loggins took it right into the goddamn Danger Zone upon being signed by the Lakers - hang on, being told that’s just Pat Riley.

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Maxwell Snark Reposted

Did you not see that the logo on my hat is in the lower right corner? Of course I want to see the craft beer list.


Maxwell Snark Reposted

Only Dr. Jack Ramsay could pull off coaching an NBA game while looking like a Bond villain picking up a 7-10 split.

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