@MattPoyle Profile picture

MJP

@MattPoyle

Joined August 2013
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MJP Reposted
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MJP Reposted

I DO NOT NEGOTIATE WITH TERRORISTS

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MJP Reposted

My grandpa just said “he’s actually pretty good” 2 minutes after calling Shaboozy the hard R


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incredible how good he is at driving and then just how bad he is at every other athletically inclined activity 😭😭😭

victoria annihilated max OMFG 😭



MJP Reposted

this is like ground zero for "what is house even about" tweets


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The problem with "slop" as a pejorative is that literal slop, in it's purest form, is good


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please god obliterate the car in front of me. please kill the driver and explode their car. please mist my windshield with their blood. thank you. amen.


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Me after throwing a wobbly 10 yard TD to a wide open hungover friend in the Turkey Bowl tomorrow morning


MJP Reposted

THE COMMUNITY NOTE

Why does no one live in this part of Africa?

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I’m not on good terms with the skeletons

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Move different when I’m off the Yao

Told the family I’m bringing the wine this year for thanksgiving

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took an edible and just tried to blow my alexa out like a candle to turn if off


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Home for the holidays!

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(Meeting my girl’s parents for the first time): Shhhiiiiiiiit wassgood pimp *dap up*


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This being how I found out

Thanksgiving is tomorrow.

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feeding your friends cat when they’re out of town feels like hanging with a guy you never hang out with alone and you’re not really sure what to talk about without your mutual friend there. so ummm you like wet food? that’s cool that’s cool


MJP Reposted
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Oakland.

Cheapest game of the year still Hella Orange. Raider fans TF you At!?!?!?



MJP Reposted
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