Stewie NOT Griffin
@LordStewie_This account is not in any way associated to stewie griffin/family guy. Just role playing, cause role playing is fun. Follow here for funny quotes :D
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I said to a fat girl today, "You're a big girl!" She replied, "Tell me something I don't know." I said, "Salad tastes good."
We are following the first 10 accounts that retweet all of out todays tweets!! GO GO GOOO!!!
Some people just need a high-five in the face... With a chair.
"I'm sorry" and "my bad" mean the same thing... Unless you're at a funeral.
The awkward moment when your sarcasm is so advanced people actually think you are stupid.
I hate when I'm about to hug someone really sexy, and my face hits the mirror.
2,800 teenage girls get pregnant everyday. Retweet if you like pancakes.
Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.
If you rearrange the letters in "mother-in-law", you get "woman Hitler". Coincidence? I think not.
Dear life, when I said "Can my day get any worse?"...it was a rhetorical question not a challenge.
Now this is what I call bad parents.. Taking pictures of their sons in balls.. They should me arrested http://t.co/Lwj5JgyL
Life is fucked up, if you fuck, no one fucks you, and If they fuck you, you get fucked!
A dick has a sad life: His hair is a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his bestfriend's a pussy, & his owner beats him up
Followers to Retweet this tweet are eligible to win a baseball signed by retired @MLB player Brad Wilkerson: atmlb.com/MZBkCo #MLBFC
Went to the doctor the other day, he told me I had to stop masturbating. I asked him why and he said, "Because I'm trying to examine you"
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Who to follow
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The Critics
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T = A - Z . aka TI$A
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Zowiezo 🔜 Dreamhack Stockholm!
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🎯矢神久美(くーみん)🎯
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