@JWitsken Profile picture

jordan witsken

@JWitsken

UCSD ‘23

Joined October 2011
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Pinned

Peter Dinklage will probably die before me. Not because he is a little person, but because he is 28 years older than me.


Girls love eating on the floor


One of the cool things about me is that I look and smell fantastic


Innocent people love saying things like this

the matrix is real. pray you never become its target



I’m sorry to @VP for the confusion! Please don’t have me arrested

JWitsken's tweet image. I’m sorry to @VP for the confusion! Please don’t have me arrested
JWitsken's tweet image. I’m sorry to @VP for the confusion! Please don’t have me arrested

There is nothing wrong with this tweet. It’s being misinterpreted as malicious. He poses a legit question, states a fact, and then calls the fact irrelevant because of how terrible the injury was. People who can’t read think he’s saying that damar is irrelevant.

No doubt the NFL is considering postponing the rest of this game - but how? This late in the season, a game of this magnitude is crucial to the regular-season outcome ... which suddenly seems so irrelevant.



If I ever needed to chase down Harry Styles to choke him out I could do it. He couldn’t out run me


I’m in my water drinking era this morning and afternoon


Lost a sock in the laundry this morning and all I found was knives

JWitsken's tweet image. Lost a sock in the laundry this morning and all I found was knives
JWitsken's tweet image. Lost a sock in the laundry this morning and all I found was knives

This is incel porn

Dark reality of modern marriage.



jordan witsken Reposted

For folks who haven’t spared a single thought about Paul Whelan, except for at this very moment to try to minimize the release of Brittney Griner, here’s what *his own family* thinks of her release.

NEW from the Whelan family: "There is no greater success than for a wrongful detainee to be freed & for them to go home. The Biden Admin made the right decision to bring Ms. Griner home, & to make the deal that was possible, rather than waiting for one that wasn't going to..”



Am I allowed to be attracted to the characters in Avatar 2 or am I going to get kicked out of the theater again for “public indecency” ? We live in Nazi Germany


Girls get on Twitter to tell you that they do drugs and have sex


jordan witsken Reposted

Playin the hits. LMSYTB


Every bagel has its breaking point. Remember that.


I’m getting worse at sliding in dms

JWitsken's tweet image. I’m getting worse at sliding in dms
JWitsken's tweet image. I’m getting worse at sliding in dms
JWitsken's tweet image. I’m getting worse at sliding in dms

jordan witsken Reposted

why am i not surprised by this


Something about this Panda Express doesn’t feel healthy


I hate that babies get more attention than me when it comes to cuteness and holdability


I think we should send Ukraine more money


Skipping this lesson


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