Mowgli
@Holy_Mowgliheader courtesy of @dave_cactus my top tweets: https://t.co/2L1ckFsMM1
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This place has just about reached rock bottom. I think it’s time to release my drafts.
“The kids are calling it diarrhea. It’s like peepee but it’s poopoo.”
Why stop at clocks? I set my stapler forward an hour too. Told my shoes it's Tuesday. My car still thinks it's 1987.
who decided to “spring forward” at 2 a.m. on the weekend. we should do it at 4 p.m. on a monday
One time, in a restaurant, a dude from a rival gang threw a steak at me, so I threw a lobster at him and we got into a huge surf and turf war.
Tupperware is filing for bankruptcy. They would have kept a lid on the news but they couldn't find one.
It looks like the still from a Disney made-for-TV movie where a dog and a cat get transformed into people.
Oatmeal raisin cookies are better than basic chocolate chip
Tell me your most radical position that cannot be placed on the left-right political spectrum
me when my google maps ETA goes up 2 minutes: ah well. so much in this life is beyond my control 🤷♂️😌 ne when my google maps ETA goes down 2 minutes: no doubt due to my unprecedented skill behind the wheel
didn’t know JRR Tolkien was into american football but it turns out he was a giant eagles fan
Just stumbled across these spreads i made for a book idea, which never went anywhere.
how would a dragon blow out its birthday candles.
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Who to follow
-
Boog
@bewgtweets -
Swim Jeans 👖
@ShortSleeveSuit -
Adrenalin
@adrenalindenver -
Patches
@mostly_cheese -
Lord James Alvarez
@ObscureGent -
Steve vs. Ninjas
@stevevsninjas -
marf
@MarfSalvador -
tubi ad break
@hellohappy_time -
Jon
@ArfMeasures -
Jillian Karger
@JillianKarger -
Angie B
@Angibangie -
david
@_elvishpresley_ -
m@thew
@TweetPotato314 -
Schmrrrlex
@alexlumaga -
Woody B
@Woody_B_
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