@HenryKondratko Profile picture

Swims

@HenryKondratko

We drank, we fought, he did his ancestors proud.

Joined December 2011
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Swims Reposted

Tattoos should actually make you more employable because it shows you can sit in place for hours while tiny needles are jammed into your skin and that’s what every corporate meeting I’ve ever been in has felt like #tech #infosec #jobs #career


Swims Reposted

just when I needed him the most... new pics of Ben Affleck struggling with the unbearable weight of being alive while on a Dunkin run just dropped

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I’m pretty sure that what really attracts and retains top people is, first off, simply being treated like adults. If you’re hiring top talent, there’s really no need to saddle them down with a stack of rules and policies to make sure they do their job well. They’re pros, so…


Swims Reposted

hey sorry I missed your text, I am processing a non-stop 24/7 onslaught of information with a brain designed to eat berries in a cave


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Me, at 10:30am on a Tuesday: “it’s been a hard week”

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ah i’d love to but i already have plans

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Being trapped at Burning Man seems almost as bad as being trapped in a conversation with someone who went to Burning Man


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retiring

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barbara was highly relatable

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Don't be boring with your midlife crisis and buy a sports car 👎🏼 Go hard. Learn magic. Lease a falcon. Start a cult. Are people worried about you? Sure. But are they also a little curious? Yeah man sign them up for the cult, you gotta make those falcon payments.


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“To whom it may concern” - vague - weak - ignorable “To whom it will concern” - ominous - strong - alarming


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The size of the gates in Jurassic Park suggests they were always planning on letting the dinosaurs out.


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founder of costco: [drunk as hell] it’s gonna have hot dogs and optometrists


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my toxic trait is being productive for 20 mins then giving myself a 4 hour break


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“did you do today’s wordle” man i am swimming in critical tasks and deadlines of course i did it


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me on january 1: this year is gonna be all about balance me on january 17: maybe if i drink enough coffee i’ll just burst into flames


Swims Reposted

here is my new year's resolution

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