@Eyre9999 Profile picture

Monique

@Eyre9999

Joined June 2013
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*hides good snacks from family members*


I have two kind of gym outfits. I have the "look good, feel good". And then I have the "I'm here to work out, don't fucking talk to me"


If a girl asks you if she is pretty or ugly tell her she is both! Pretty ugly.


Girls be like : "Why are boobs attractive? They are two balls of fat on a girls chest? Why can't all the other fat be attractive too?"


MATH = [M]ental [A]buse [T]o [H]umans


Bitches be like: "Babe I'm Pregnant" Niggas be like: ♕KEEP CALM I'll HELP YOU FIND THE FATHER


Me jealous of you? Not in this lifetime bitch


Getting married at 22 sounds a lot like leaving a party at 9:30pm.


I wish my wallet is as fat as I am.


Friends buy you food. Best friends eat your food.


*my parents when I was 6* "go to your room" *my parents now* "please come out of your room"


2014 is in 2 months and i still write 2012 on my papers.


White Parents: "Goodmorning hun, time for school :)!" Black Parents: "Getcha Ass Up!! You betta not miss that damn bus!!"


Too ugly for the people I want. Too hot for the people who want me.


Me: How much is this poster of this sexy man? Sales Clerk: That's a mirror, sir.


Dear stomach, you're bored, not hungry. So shut up.


Mondays are God's punishment for what we did on the weekend.


"Aaaaaachhooo!" "Bless you.." "Aaacchhoooooo!" "Bless you!" "Aaaccchhoooooo!" "Dude what the hell?!"


Horror movies don't scare me, 13 missed calls from my mom scares me.


Once a girl is done putting up with your shit, "I'm sorry" doesn't count for shit. You've lost her forever.


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