Coach asked if we "worked out on our own" today.. Is that even a question? I head bang to Highway to Hell every morning

Went on an Easter egg hunt for my virginity today and found out hole 16 at our last event took it.. Damn par 3 fucked me all 3 rounds 😒

"Congrats you two, I'm playing y'all as 4 and 5 at our next event" "Really??" "No it's April Fools, now go pick the range" #WalkOns

"Coach, you think I could maybe play the individual in a Juco event?" "Yeah sure I'll see what I can do" *gets entered into a HS event*

Tiger Woods WD from the WGC.. And in other news, bear shits in woods #nosurprise

When I don't break 80 in a single qualifying round all semester & coach tries to encourage me http://t.co/kmSrANpM21

Breaking news: Dustin Johnson takes a leave of absence from professional golf due to multiple Heroine and Cocaine overdoses

When there are more golf tees in the washing machine than clothes #GolfProblems

God damnit I hate when Tim Clark wins tournaments. That little fucker hits hybrid into every hole & encourages kids to be pussies like him

Story of my life: In the mouth and then her mom walks in http://t.co/kYL002rupo

If you call me bud or buddy during the round I will purposely step in every single one of your lines on the greens 😴

#PGATourEventsNoOneGivesAFuckAbt RBC Canadian Open

When you go watch your boy in a tournament and he misses a 2 footer http://t.co/hD8xByPtY9

I take that back. If Natalie Gulbis plays in the Solheim cup I'll watch the fuck out of it. I'll watch that shit live & TeVo that shit 😩

Things I'd rather watch than the Solheim Cup: -Paint dry -Grass grow -HS girls basketball -Keeping Up w/ the Kardashians

me after a 3 putt http://t.co/baUFMIGWCf

When you 2 under through 17 then blow it way right OB on 18 for an easy double @RJ_Heaz44 http://t.co/LtAbmL9yKH

Hey Shane Lowry, you probably would of made a few more putts if you didn't play a FUCKING SRIXON! 😂

I really hope Rory McElroy's jew-fro lookin ass doesn't win

When I feel about my round I can always look back and see that this dude shot fucking 90 & he's on tour http://t.co/p6HcntiYmQ