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Frog buttcheeks have sent me spiraling
*me rereading my own tweet every time someone likes it*
I wonder if my dogs can smell the alcohol on me and know I’m about to pet the fuck outta them
If I smile at you at the gym and you don’t smile back I know you aren’t shit 🤧
Who wants to go ingest 7lbs if pasta and bread with me at Olive Garden
all alone... in my own... little chair
I just announced to my family that I’m dropping out of college and got a full applause lmfao, okay!
When you finally have some time to get caught up and Blackboard isn’t working. 🤯 #MondayMood
friend: don’t look but that girl is checking you out me: [turning around] who Medusa: hey friend: I said don’t look statue:
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