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💉CriticalCareBear🐻

@ATLmurse

Professional NP. Amateur homosexual. Anti-Hero. Z72.52. He/Him/His. 🏳️‍🌈 BLACK LIVES MATTER!

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From now on, I will be ending department wide emails with: “XOXO Gossip Girl”


My dog has no idea what just happened in this country, and I love that for him.


I really treat my therapist like a magic 8 ball, like “do I quit my job and move to Chicago? Yes or no?”


Not my hospital offering to let me stay overnight during Helene, like I wouldn’t risk life and limb to escape even on a sunny day.


I’m starting to get to the age where I’m gonna have to take random chest pains seriously.


Is it really a neuro check if the whole department didn’t hear you yell “squeeze my hand?”


Tattoo appointment made, so I can scrape together a molecule of serotonin.


Grindr guy: “what are you looking for?” Me:

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I got an Ozempic allegation overnight at work and on my way home, found a wet floor at Publix. Jesus. Is it my turn?


I’m a slut for anything cucumber infused


We’ve already agreed on ordering Mexican food for night shift tonight. I’ve been salivating about my order. Big back season is in full swing.


Well. I’m horny for one of my attendings.


Ever done CPR with diarrhea? Yeah, me neither 😳


When will it be my turn to have sex with a medium ugly stranger in an airport bathroom. Please god.


Spit on my butthole and tell my I’m pretty


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