@5ive308 Profile picture

5ive

@5ive308

I’m only here until my band gets a record deal...

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Pinned

Hey check out our punk rock cover of “All I Know” by #machinegunkelly. It’s hard. 🤘🖤


She can #hawktuah me as long as she hasn’t come from meeting @seanseaevans


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just settled all my lawsuits (Fuck You, Gerbies!)

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If I was on Meek Mills team I would push for a full Lil Nas X pivot and get the mega 💼💰 💴 💵


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An hour?

Sex burns 360 calories per hour.



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Making buffalo chicken dip for SNL tonight like it’s the Super Bowl


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Before you give me credit for any of the great sketches on tonight’s show please know I didn’t write a single word. All bangers. The work that goes into this thing is wild. I did say “ohhhh that’s good” a bunch so that counts.


38 minutes until the DAWGZ take over cable tv! #stoked #snl #MSSP


You ever wonder if the #HarryPotter world totally exists but some Witch or Wizard has “Obliviated” you numerous times? I do.


I hope @SouthPark makes an episode where Cartmen goes viral on #TikTok for his singing.


Brad Pitt telling @lildickytweets to “Roll this bitch” has me howling. #DaveFXX


I gotta say… #FlorencePugh is absolutely CUHHHRUSHING’ it in the industry right now! That gals got the ol’ actin’ chops and I’m here for it. She’s great!


I gotta give another nod to Zach Braff. That AA scene is so real it fucked me up. Anyone struggling with addiction “ A Good person” is a great place to start…. Next to the program.


Dolores Umbridge is the only woman I’d ever describe as a #Cunt. Yes or yes?


2nd time this month rewatching the Harry Potter series and idc who knows. I might make it a 3peat.


Daaaaaaamn. @zachbraff put out a HEATER! That movie got me all teary eyed. Good on ya’ 👍


My #redflag is when someone tells me they’re “halfway through an episode.” ……… Who tf doesn’t just finish the episode!?!?!


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That cigarette is about to go on a JOURNEY✨


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My wife is a lucky woman.

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Whoever decided to make me wait til fucking April to play #HogwartsLegacy should be beheaded. That’s some bitch made shit @Xbox


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I know some people like to pull the old “Irish goodbye” at a parties, but I prefer giving an “Irish hello!” That’s where u show up abruptly, and without greeting anyone, rhino charge straight to the bathroom and post up for 45min.


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